“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.” ~ Tony Robbins
I have been forced, recently, to truly evaluate what is and is not “impossible”. Turns out, there was a good bit to evaluate.
All my life, I’ve lived with absolutes. I was raised in an environment which brooked no questioning, no deviation, no ‘wiggle-room’… things simply WERE or they WERE NOT. At first, I thought that was comforting. I knew exactly what my parameters were, what ‘being me’ meant, what was right and wrong and acceptable and… you get the drift. I didn’t have to do a flat inch of thinking. It was all laid out. And in an alternate reality, perhaps I lived out my days in that safe, unthinking, easy bubble.
But not in this reality.
Oh no – I couldn’t be satisfied with the status quo… I had to go questioning, and pushing, and demanding, and challenging. All of which brought me no end of heartache and pain through the years. But just like they say when you break a bone it’s stronger when it heals – every time I got my world rocked all the way down to my socks… I got stronger.
There was still this thing, though… this little walled-up, deep-moated, guarded-by-suits-of-armor castle called “Impossible”. And those stones, laid so carefully by so many people from my life, were rooted in soul-deep. I wasn’t any help, though… every time the words (or even thoughts!) of “I can’t…”, “They won’t…”, “There’s no way…” passed my heart, mind or mouth – I added another stone. Or dug the moat a little deeper. Or hell, raised the damn flag snapping in the wind overhead! It was easy. It was comfortable. It was a straight-up habit.
And there was nothing to backhand my sorry behind & knock some friggin sense into me. To tell me “YOU are doing this, fair or foul… you numnut!” That is… until recently.
A few short weeks ago I had a evening unlike any other. I was able to take away a whole basket-full of lessons, memories, and feelings… but probably the main thing I found was perhaps the most simple.
I Did. I Can. I DO.
And suddenly ‘impossible’ just didn’t have the same hold. When faced with the staggering vastness and power of the Universe – of which we are a part, just as it is a part of us – what exactly can we not do?? Not that it’s easy, finding the way through this… Oh hell no. Took decades to build up that castle with all its walls – and every stone will likely rip my hands to shreds – but it’s moving. It’s coming down.
Or maybe I’ll just figure out how to use the Force, and telekinetically toss all that mess out of the way. As Yoda said: “Do or do not… there is no try.” For a geek-girl, Yoda is pretty much ‘holy writ’… so there’s no fighting that one.
Which brings me to the past few weeks – because with all that I learned on that stormy night, none of this had really been forced into practical application. Until ‘The Big Thing’. ‘TBT’ is a situation in my life that is currently under wraps but will be shared when/if it comes to fruition. A bit cryptic, I know, but bare with me.
There are a lot of steps to TBT… a LOT. And at every turn, something pops up that I could let stand in my way. There have been multiple opportunities so far for me to say “Oh, hell with it… that’s too tough, it can wait.” Only it can’t. Because if I say it can, then I’m saying it’s impossible. I’m not ‘doing’… hell, I’m not even trying. So it can’t wait. Not until someone or something (or Fate… because really if you ignore that heifer she’ll make you sorry!) forces me to acknowledge that there is nothing left for me to do.
Hasn’t happened yet. And I’m going to keep ripping those stones down & throwing ’em in the moat until I drop… and then I’ll stare at the sky and let the Universe tingle my fingers until I can get back up… and I’ll keep right on going.
Or – as His Little Green Holiness puts it: “You must unlearn what you have learned.”