Thursday was a rough one. After the fun and excitement of All Hallow’s, I got some news that was… well, let’s just say discouraging. I tend to have a fairly good hold on my emotions, I don’t typically go off the deep end to either extreme, because what’s the point, what does it solve – but sometimes things just suck and I get twisted up just like anybody.
And when you’re getting started in a good soul-deep wallow, the last thing you want to see or hear is other people crowing about all the fabulous things in their lives… their great new house, their adorable brand-new baby, their brilliant significant other… Yeah, it’s hatin’ – and sometimes we all do it. Doesn’t make it right. Does make us human.
As I stood teetering on the edge of letting myself fall into that depression… my toes hanging off the edge, looking down into the abyss and swaying with the dizzy feeling of near-flight, the litany started. Why not me? Don’t I ever get to be the one who wins? What do I have to do for it work for me? When is it ever going to be my turn? Luckily, I had voices and hands, solid and sure, to keep me steady.
The wisdom of my bestie, the calming silence of a listening friend, and the solid presence of kindred spirits in many directions… all supportive, empathetic, caring, and with a dash of smack upside my head if I started leaning too far.
And then there was a new thought… Man, am I lucky! And I am.
It’s November – the month where we take especial notice of what we’re thankful for. It was a good time for me to remember just how much thanks I have to give.
- I have a job. It’s not fancy, but it pays the bills.
- I have my health. Not perfect, but I’m doing well.
- I have a home. Maybe not exactly what I want, but it’s cozy & keeps me sheltered.
- I have love. So. Much. Love.
I have love from dear friends, and family-of-choice that are closer to me than my blood. Nobody can be poor or discouraged with this much love. And regardless of what happens in my world… no matter if I get everything I want or not, I have won.
I just had to remember that.