i’m not sorry…

[Fair warning – I use a *bit* of colorful language in this one… deal or don’t read!]

There’s a movie quote that would be great here, but I can’t for the life of me remember the movie… Guy & girl talking, and she (I think it was she) gets supremely frustrated and barks “Stop Apologizing!” (He was very much the “sorry… sorry… oh, sorry…” type of person.) I totally get where she was coming from. Still can’t remember the movie.

Oh well, long way around to start this post. See? My Southern comes out sometimes. And I’m a little riled – not full-on fury, but I’m definitely at the hands-on-the-hips, neck-rolling, foot-tapping level of “Nuh uh!”

And you know what? I’m riled up at all of US!

You heard me.

Because if there’s one thing I’ve noticed as a theme among all us lovely pagans, it’s the apologizing. Not ‘I’m sorry for existing’, because we’ve pretty well got our diva snap on for that one… power to the pagan & all that. No, it’s a different kind of apologizing. For our CRAFT. And it pisses me off. Tell me if any of this rings familiar:

“I know this sounds crazy, but…”

“Sorry, this is gonna sound weird, but…”

“It might sound nuts, but…”

Right? RIGHT??? … Damn it, people!

I mean, I get it if we’re talking to someone outside the path. A “muggle”, if you will. I can totally see starting a conversation with something like “You might not believe this, but…” – even still, that’s not calling it crazy or nuts or wrong or weird… just “YOU might not believe this – doesn’t mean it’s not true.”

So yeah, what we do and what happens as a result might sound koo-koo to others – but not US! We should expect fairy circles, or spirit guide appearances, or knowing who’s on the phone before it rings, or seeing ghosts, or remembering lives, or … or … or …


Of COURSE the ‘odd’ and ‘unusual’ happens to us. Of COURSE our lives are full of what others would call unexplained phenomena. DUHHH!!

So why… by all that is holy, WHY do we keep qualifying and apologizing for it?! Because you know what? Words Matter. We all know that & accept it as true when we’re casting… why do we conveniently forget when we’re ‘just talking’? [And for the record, some of my most magical moments have been ‘just talking’ with someone… chew on that fat a bit, how ’bout it?] If we keep belittling who we are and what we do and how our lives go as a result – what are we doing to our magic & our reality? Huh?

Yeah. That’s what I thought.

And now I’m gonna challenge you. Ready? Sure? Ok… here we go:

Pay Attention. Listen to what you’re saying & how you’re saying it. Stop making excuses for your full-on, anything-can-happen, magical self.

Instill a new habit in yourself.

Stop Apologizing.

‘Spell Casting’ by DarkGeometryArt (deviantArt)


9 thoughts on “i’m not sorry…

  1. I always just say it with out the apology in front. It’s just a fact to me. Even when I talk about my magick with muggles as you say. Same as talking about my gay life, I’m matter of fact about it all. It’s real to me and I don’t really care if I’m believed or not. I also gave up worrying about what others think of me, so I just put out the facts, leave it up to others to form their opinions. Those opinions are theirs, not mine and they don’t matter to me or my magical life or my gay life. 🙂

      • Being a aged person has it’s advantages. You learn that you and your self are all that MATTER ON THIS SPIRITUAL JOURNEY. If others want to come along they can, but ultimately it is their perception of the path that is theirs and not yours. I love my pagan family and feel you are all brothers and sisters, but ultimately I walk alone on this journey. Being who you truly are is the peace you require and seek.

  2. I don’t apologize for my spiritual path. And not being a born Southerner, I don’t beat around the bush either. I make a judgement call on who I’m speaking to (Muggle or Magical) and if I think they can handle it, I tell it like I see it. If not, I tell them I don’t talk about my spiritual path. I do, however, hear far too many people do exactly what you’re talking about. I hope those who have been apologizing take heart from this and stop! 🙂

  3. I do sometimes try to soften my advice with something out front–not an apology per se, but “I don’t know if you’re interested in this,” or “I hope you don’t think I’m a crazy hippie” because I think that it helps find avenues into the understanding of someone outside my pagan culture. Before I became disabled, I worked with many scientists. If I were going to be taken seriously at my job, I needed them to believe I could think scientifically, and that my neopaganism did not affect my scientific work. I don’t feel like they are better than me, but I will speak with sensitivity that they may have different beliefs than I, because the people I know are usually atheist, and that I understood the potential conflict with my quality of work that magical thinking could represent and cared about my quality of science as well as my private beliefs. I think because we don’t tend to proselytize, we tend to be more timid in general about our religion because we don’t have to believe it is best for everyone we meet. I feel very apologetic over the fluffy bunnies that are our biggest representation to the christian world, and it comes out in my speech. Hard to be viewed differently if I’m being too in-your-face about my own beliefs, I think. I see what you’re saying, but I’m not sure that tone is always a bad thing I guess.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s